Category Archives: Dating/Love


Middlebrow Spring 2015 #4

Tonight, Middlebrow will be performing their final show of the academic year, entitled “Two Girls, One Forrest.” This show will also be the last time that group members Forrest Carroll ’15, Melissa MacDonald ’15 and Charlotte Michaelcheck ’15 will be legally allowed to stand on stage.

It has been a long and windy road to this moment for all three members, and there will certainly be a lot of emotional baggage unloaded in the Grand Salon this evening. Youngest Brow member Grace Levin ‘18.5 shared her thoughts on this weighty event, “It was nice being in the group with them. It will be somewhat strange I guess to be the only female. Should be fine, though.” Clearly, it can be tough to bear the gravity of these three forces departing, but we’re positive that tonight will present a feast for the eyes and ears (and some peoples’ mouths).

Feeling nostalgic about this? Check out the promo video for Charlotte and Melissa’s first show back in Fall 2012.

Come on by to the Chateau Grand Salon at 10:30PM to share in this event. The room tends to fill up fast, so get there early to find a comfortable place to settle your butt.


Pleasure Physiology Workshop

Colors! Fun!

Colors! Fun!

Spring makes people happy, spring makes couples appear, spring is all about pleasure. Except finals which are really just Meh. So, to amp your happiness, de-stress, and get that sex drive pumpin’, be sure to check out today’s Pleasure Physiology Workshop being lead by Middlebury alum, Kristina Johansson on the physiology of pleasure, featuring sex toys and time for an anonymous Q+A!

Date: Today, 5/5
Time: 7-9pm
Place: The Mill
Cost: Nada

Middbeat Crush of the Week: Julien Miller ’17

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Crunch time got you down? Try to enjoy this spring weather and get to know middbeat’s newest crush. This Canadian cutie loves to hike, is an entrepreneur, and wants to cook you a romantic dinner for two. Put that textbook down and take a moment to get to know Julien Miller.

Middbeat: What’s your major?
JM: International Politics and Economics

Middbeat: Where are you from?
JM: Montreal, Canada

Middbeat: Do you have a lot of Canadian pride?
JM: I have so much Canadian pride. I bleed red.

Middbeat: What’s your favorite thing about Canada?
JM: My favorite thing about Canada would probably be just how people are so kind and welcoming. No one locks their doors at night.

Middbeat: If you had the perfect vacation what would it be?
JM: It would have to be something a little bit adventurous I’m not the type of person that wants to go to a resort or just sit on the beach the whole time. I need activities. I’ve always really wanted to go to Argentina.

Middbeat: Why Argentina?
JM: There’s lots to do like hiking skiing, drinking wine. Good food, nice people. Beautiful women.

Middbeat: What are your favorite stomping grounds on campus?
JM: Under the willow tree on battel beach or the Adirondack chairs behind bihall.

Middbeat: So romantic. Are these actually places where you spend a lot of your time?
JM: A lot of my time.

Middbeat: What’s the first song you blast in your car right now?
JM: This morning I listened to Stole the Show by Kygo. It popped up on my spotify.

Middbeat: What are you doing this summer?
JM: I’m working in Montreal and then I’m going to be backpacking around Europe for the month of August before I go to Madagascar.

Middbeat: So to the ladies out there—you won’t be around in the fall?
JM: I won’t be around.

Middbeat: So they’ll have to wait until spring?
JM: Yeah, no worries. I’ll be back.

Middbeat: What is your ideal date?
JM: If I’m looking for a more intimate date I think I’d cook a meal and have a bottle of wine. If I don’t know the girl that well I’d probably do something a little bit more active like maybe a hike.

Middbeat: What’s your favorite thing to cook?
JM: Crepes.

Middbeat: So you would start the night with savory crepes and then move on to sweet crepes? JM:Yeah, something like that.



“Sepo-mania? What’s that?”  This is the question I often hear from friends and strangers when WRMC’s spring concert-fest rolls around every year.  To be fair, Sepomana is a really confusing word to read, spell, and pronounce. Can you imagine if WRMC booked Menomena for Sepomana? Chaos would ensue. For future reference, it’s pronounced Sepom-uh-nuh, but you can call it SEPOM for short. In an effort to provide some context for the upcoming event this Saturday, here’s a little history courtesy of a 2006 letter from WRMC alum Pauls Toutonghi ’98 originally published in The Middlebury Campus:

We came up with the word “sepomana” in a Monday-afternoon meeting in February of 1997. My friend, Jeremy Dean, was the one who coined the phrase. We’d been brainstorming – trying to name WRMC’s new concert series. After about fifteen minutes of rejected ideas, Jeremy suddenly turned to everyone and said: “Sepomana.” It was a little serendipitous. So, “sepomana” is WRMC’s word. We made it. we are wordsmiths. Rock n’ roll.

The intention with Sepomana was simple: A May concert that would provide an alternative to the annual MCAB major-label love-fest. I mean, how many times can you sit in the Field House and listen to Wyclef Jean?

Yes, back in 2005 Wyclef Jean performed at MCAB’s spring concert. Though T-Pain was certainly the talk of the town this spring, his performance offered less relevance and more nostalgia, as Arnav Adhikari ’16 pointed out in his recent review of the show for The Campus.  In the spirit of college radio and WRMC tradition, this year’s Sepomana lineup shines a light on lesser known acts of varying genres and backgrounds poised to collectively unleash the massive bass drop of energy our campus needs going into exam period.

If you’re unfamiliar with the artists performing at the 19th Annual Sepomana, check out Charlie Dulik ‘17.5’s show preview in The Campus and the individual artist spotlights and playlists currently featured on WRMC’s website:

LUNICE – electronic/trap producer/DJ and one half of the formidable Montreal trap duo TNGHT.

RATKING – explosive, punk-influenced experimental New York hip-hop trio

YONATAN GAT – freewheeling psychedelic rock, formerly of the legendary Tel Aviv based Monotonix

IRON EYES CODY – Middlebury’s favorite foot-stomping folk rockers

So come one, come all to Sepomana 2015. There will be brand new, limited edition WRMC t-shirts available for sale inside the Wilson venue starting at 9:30 when Iron Eyes Cody hits the stage. Follow WRMC on Instagram for a merch sneak peak later today and get your tickets at the box office using the GO/SEPOMTIX link.

What: WRMC Presents: Sepomana 2015
When: Saturday May 2 • 9:30 PM
Where: Wilson Social Space
Cost: $5 in advance // $8 at the door




What’s up beasts; if you like to party, you’re in luck! There is gonna be a fucking sick concert tomorrow in the most legendary venue on this campus: the Bunker (aka the Freeman INTERNATIONAL Center, ever heard of it???) Hopefully the lineup will unite all the bleep blood heads and indie hipsters who are perpetually warring on this campus. DJ Eric “DJ Eric Hass” Hass will be opening for no less than Brooklyn’s own Body Language, who play a lot of dance-poppy r&b and nu-disco. Hell yea

If you’re down, head over to the Bunker at 10pm tomorrow, Friday, 4/24.

Here are a couple of their sickest tracks….

So yeah they play like real dance music but using live instruments. Pretty sick, I know.

Hope to see you there!

Lecture TODAY: No Brokeback for Black Men

Screen shot 2015-04-17 at 8.56.31 AMToday, Assistant Professor of Sociology Chong-suk Han will be giving a lecture entitled “No Brokeback for Black Men: Pathologizing Black Homosexuality through Down Low Discourse.” In this lecture, Professor Han will discuss the down low phenomenon, for which little has been written aside for its implication in the spread of HIV. More on the lecture from Professor Han here:

In recent years, the down low phenomenon has received unprecedented attention in both the popular and academic press. However, much of this work has focused on exploring whether men on the down low present a unique threat for HIV infection to black women. Currently, there exist very few scholarly popular works exploring the meaning attached to the down low, not only by those who promote the label for academic studies or for media dispersal. In this talk, I shed new light on the meanings attached to the down low by the popular press, critically evaluating how it is used to create a category that is marked by an undesirable categorization of black men, and provide and argument as to why black men who have sex with men may adopt the label for themselves.

Date: Today, April 17th
Time: 12:15
Place: RAJ conference room
Cost: Free and free lunch woo!


Middbeat Crush of the Week: Sam Boxer, ’18

Screen Shot 2015-03-31 at 2.14.30 PMAre you struggling to shake off the Spring Break sleepiness and bumming about spring weather not being here quite yet? Just in time, middbeat is bringing you the next Crush of the Week for you to feast your eyes on. Re-channel those spring break blues into dreaming about this cutie, freshman Sam Boxer.

middbeat: What’s your name?
SB: Sam Boxer

middbeat: Where are you from?
SB: Wallingford, Pennsylvania

middbeat: What’s your major?
SB: PoliSci and Arabic

middbeat: What is your current relationship status?
SB: Single and ready to mingle

middbeat: Are you a tea or coffee guy?
SB: Tea

middbeat: Are we talking caffeinated, or straight herbal?
SB: Nah, some Earl Grey, straight herbal.

middbeat: What is the coolest make-out spot on campus?
SB: Standing facing away from the Grille, in the Grille, holding the person like you’re on the Titanic, and then it slowly folds into a make-out. Kind of a Leo DiCaprio Kate Winslet type of thing if you’re into that.

middbeat: Wow, very well thought-through. Okay, what’s the most embarrassing moment that you can recall?
SB: One time I took off my sock, and it was a red sock, and there was red lint stuck in my feet and I started crying because I thought I was bleeding. I was 14.

middbeat: Wow, that’s really traumatizing, I’m so sorry. Okay, moving on, what’s your favorite holiday?
SB: Hannukah. Duh.

middbeat: Who is the celebrity you would drop everything for, including the previous love of your life?
SB: Chance the Rapper.

middbeat: Wow, no hesitation there. Okay now I’m going to ask you a few questions. Say you found your true love, but then discovered these attributes about them after the fact…would they make or break your relationship?
middbeat: She has to wear rollerblades 24/7?
SB: uh, make it, duh.
middbeat: What if she had a baby arm?
SB: Like a T-Rex arm? One? Break it. Two, totally make it.
middbeat: What if she chewed with her mouth open?
SB: Oh, totally break it.
middbeat: What if she always talked with her mouth closed?
SB: Break it.

middbeat: Okay. Ideal date to take a girl on at Midd?
SB: Hmm. I’d buy out Atwater dinner for one night and then go to the new froyo store.

middbeat: How would you feel about a girl asking you out? Turn on? A little weird?
SB: That would be fine.
middbeat: Not a turn on?
SB: No, but fine.

middbeat: Best food in Middlebury?
SB: Taste of India. That’s the only place I’ve been.

middbeat: What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?
SB: Baby Hawk being born to its mother during sunrise on Snake Mountain and then flying off into the distance.

middbeat: Woah! Really?
SB: No.

middbeat: Okay, yeah, I guess baby hawks don’t fly right away anyway, so…

middbeat: Okay, moving on. What was your mom’s nickname for you growing up?
SB: Sammy Foo-Foo

middbeat: If you could change your name to any name in the whole wide world, what would it be?
SB: Felix

middbeat: Wow, quick answer. Have you thought about that before?
SB: Yeah. I’ve wanted to change my name for a while now.

middbeat: Word. Okay, in parting, what is one message you would like to spread to the romantic community at Middlebury College about Sam Boxer?
SB: By the time the fool has played the game, all the players have dispersed.


middbeat Crush of the Week: Andrew Pester, ’17

Meet sophomore stunna Andrew Pester, whom middbeat interrupted during a serious chemistry study session in Atwater dining hall because he was just too crushable to pass up. Get to know our new favorite Kansasian!

name: Andrew
grade: sophomore
major: Environmental Studies with a focus in Dance
hometown: Lawrence, Kansas



middbeat: What’s your favorite thing to do in Lawrence, Kansas?
Andrew Pester: My favorite thing to do in Lawrence, Kansas is go to an abandoned house on a lake with my friends and have a picnic.

mb: Do you have any random talents?
AP: I can do a backflip. And I’m really flexible. My feet can touch my head, going backwards. Like if I brought my feet over my head. Yeah. My back is very flexible.

mb: Wow. What’s your favorite holiday?
AP: My favorite holiday is Fourth of July. Not because I’m patriotic. But because it’s when my family gets together, and we make homemade ice cream. It’s a time when my whole family gets together, and I get to spend a lot of great quality time with my grandparents. And it’s all about food.

mb: What kind of music do you like?
AP: So…my favorite album probably of all time was alt-J’s first album. But when I listen to music I usually pick songs that remind me of people I know, so it can be kind of all over the place, because I know people from, I guess you could say…different music genres. So when I listen to music, I really listen to people who I assign those songs to.

mb: Hmm. If someone were to listen to music that would be reflective of you what would it be?AP: [pause]. Right now it would probably be a mix between Bon Iver and Ra Ra Riot.

mb: Woah, they should totally get together. Interesting current mood you’ve got.
AP: Yeah…I’m pretty stressed. But that’s not really unique. But I’m also hopeful because I’m going to Panama City for spring break and that’s exciting.

mb: What’s up in Panama City?
AP: I’m going to teach kids dance. Through the Middlebury Dance Department, with seven other students and Scotty Hardwig, one of the dance professors.

mb: Right on. So if you could have any animal appendage, what would it be?
AP: Wings. For sure.

mb: What do you look for most in a significant other?
AP: Opportunities for growth, I think.

mb: Personal or mutual?
AP: Personal. Opportunities for me to grow with that person.

mb: What’s your current relationship status?
AP: I’m taken. Yeah.

Thursday Thought: A Romantic Paradigm That’s Freaking Me Out


I’ve spent over 90 hours interviewing Midd students about their romantic and sexual experiences this semester, and I’ve come across a paradigm, a theory, a “rule,” you could say about male-female romantexual (romantic/sexual) relations. It’s controversial, and I kind of hate it, but I want to hear what you all think, so why not middbeat thought of the week it?

Guys grow on girls, but girls don’t grow on guys.

Nah, let’s modify — that’s a bit nauseating:

(Frequently), guys (who make an effort, show genuine interest, and are genuinely interested) can grow on girls (even if they weren’t initially physically or emotionally interested in them), but (more often than not) girls (who make an effort, show genuine interest, and are genuinely interested) don’t grow on guys (though it’s certainly (I hope, though I haven’t heard of it) happened that a guy who’s pursued by a girl and doesn’t initially find them attractive grows attraction for said girl, and develops a romantic, not just a sexual, relation with them).

~Sigh~. That’s a mess and I’m not sure it’s any better. Really, what it boils down to is:

Frequently, guys grow on girls, but except in extremely rare circumstances I’ve yet to hear of, girls don’t grow on guys.

To the girls throwin’ middle fingers in the air: I feel you. And, importantly, this isn’t a law, it’s a proposition posed by a 21-year-old white, economically privileged, heterosexual female who hasn’t had nearly enough experience to tell you what’s undoubtedly true or false. That being said, almost everyone I’ve talked to has (whether hesitantly or not) admitted, “Shit, that’s actually really true.”

Anyone who’s done an interview has been slapped over the head with this fact: It’s all about first impressions. Recently, I read an article on interviewing that explained a judgment is made in the first ten seconds, and the entire rest of the interview is basically negligible, as it’s just an effort to confirm the positive or negative impression made in the first ten seconds. While I hadn’t considered the relation between romantic pursuits and job interviews until yesterday (thank you, obsessive senior spring job pursuit), I think they mirror each other all too well.

If in interviews humans so instantaneously (and subjectively) decide whether they’re attracted to a candidate or not, why shouldn’t this instinct hold steadfast in the romantic realm? I think it does, both for guys and for girls; but for girls, it’s a pencil mark that can fade fairly easily, while for guys, it’s Sharpie status. Or so it seems. Consider Circumstance 1, which I’ve heard time and again:

Girl, let’s call her Jen, has a huge distance crush on boy, let’s call him Andrew. Jen and Andrew are both objectively attractive people, but neither is “model-status,” whatever that means. Jen and Andrew sit next to each other in class, joke around, exchange glances, and even chat it up at a party on Saturday night. Jen feels chemistry, she’s a smart, independent woman, so she decides, “Fuck it,” and asks him to grab coffee. It goes great. “We got along so well, we felt so compatible, we chatted for hours and laughed a ton and had so much in common. We had such a good time, and he seemed so into it. Plus, he’s so cute.” Jen and Andrew start hanging out more, grabbing a few meals and kiss once or twice. Jen’s excited: How often do you feel actually compatible with a distance crush?” But then it just stopped. He said he thought I was awesome, smart, funny but it just wasn’t there for him, and that was that. It just made no sense.” Andrew’s side of the story: “I do think she’s an awesome girl, so funny, so friendly, so smart. She told me she was really attracted to me and felt a real connection, and I’m flattered. Honestly. But she pursued me, I wasn’t initially sexually attracted to her, and though we had a great time, it just wasn’t there from the start.” What wasn’t there? The first 10-second sexual attraction. Did it matter? Hell yeah.

And now, Circumstance 2:

Boy, let’s call him Ryan, has a huge distance crush on girl, let’s call her Kate. Ryan and Kate are both objectively attractive people, but neither is “model-status,” whatever that means. Ryan and Kate sit next to each other in class, joke around, exchange glances, and even chat it up at a party on Saturday night. Ryan feels chemistry, he’s a smart, independent man, so he decides, “Fuck it,” and asks Kate to grab coffee. It goes great. “We got along so well, we felt so compatible, we chatted for hours and laughed a ton and had so much in common. We had such a good time, and she seemed so into it. Plus, she’s so cute.” Ryan and Kate start hanging out more, grabbing a few meals and kiss once or twice. Ryan’s excited: How often do you feel actually compatible with a distance crush?” Kate’s on the fence. “I mean I wouldn’t have picked him out of the crowd, he’s not my type. He’s not ugly or anything, instinctually, I’m just not super attracted to him.” Ryan senses a tension, and meets up with Kate. “Look, I think your really beautiful, interesting, and smart, and I just want to get to know you.” Almost no one’s ever said this to Kate. Heart flutters. “And we have such a good time together.” Kate agrees, they do have a good time together. They continue “dating” for a few weeks, and fast forward: “It’s true, I wasn’t super attracted at first. But he was so nice. He really cared about me, and more than anything he was interested in me. He thinks I’m beautiful. I don’t know how it happened, but something changed, and I’m really happy it did. We’re really happy.” What wasn’t there? The first 10-second sexual attraction. Did it matter? Nope.

Of course, Circumstances 1 and 2 are oversimplifications. There’s a million criticisms that could be made (sociologically, gender roles, cultural norms, you name it). But I’d be so bold as to say, none of that matters. It’s just kind of, really true. If you’re a guy, put yourself in Andrew’s shoes, then in Ryan’s. If you’re a girl, put yourself in Jen’s shoes, then in Kate’s. Tell me you can’t relate, you can’t understand, you wouldn’t do the same thing.

Human’s are animals, and biologically, female animals seek protection, care, a male who desires to be with only them while they birth and care for an offspring. Biologically, male animals seek not protection, care, and commitment, but to have sex with as many females as possible, to spread the seed. Humans have evolved, and we’d like to think this dichotomy has blurred quite a bit. In many ways, it has. But when it comes to that instinctual sexual attraction, it seems we’re back to basics: For a girl, if protection, care, and commitment are there, sexual attraction can develop, and it frequently does, because what’s attractive is the romance, the love, not the body in and of itself. For a guy, if protection, care, and commitment are there, and the sexual attraction is not, I’m afraid it’s most likely never going to be. So, given the sex drive, which is perhaps more fervent in men than women, ultimately, the body in and of itself, is the deciding factor.

Hear me out: I don’t like this potential reality, I don’t believe it’s always true, and I don’t want it to be true at all. But if we’re being honest, I think it just might be.

So, what does it mean for us? You tell me. Here’s my two cents: To the ladies: if you’re into him, remember you’re fucking awesome and test the waters. But protect your heart. While initially I was gung-ho on the “bold girl,” I’m realizing it’s not that simple. Bold is good. Confidence is good. But sometimes, if he think’s “it ain’t there,” it’s likely not going to be, so move on up. To the dudes: if you’re into her, remember you’re fucking awesome and test the waters. If you think she’s beautiful, intelligent, smart, tell her. Tell her why, and be honest. Spend time with her, and give her space to think. It’s not a sealed deal, but remember it’s the honesty, the feelings, that’ll seal the deal, not the sex (most likely).

I’m still confused, unsettled, and unsatisfied. Upon first read, my instinct to this reflection would be “That’s bullshit, and jam packed of untrue generalizations.” But when I’m honest with myself, and more importantly, when my interview participants (especially guys) have been honest with themselves, that defense fades and a troubling truthfulness sets in. If romantic/sexual pursuits are an interview, to extend the metaphor, I really hope the questions, beyond the “how are you?” upon walking in the door or initiating the Skype sesh, actually do matter.

Nonetheless, remember, this Thursday Thought is just a thought. It’s not a claim. It’s an open platform, so share what you think.

*This thought focuses exclusively on heterosexual relations solely because I do not feel I have heard about enough homosexual relations to make significantly supported claims.
** Contribute your two cents on romantic/sexual culture by taking this (anonymous) survey GO/ROMANCE