7 Ways to Relieve Your Ridiculously Awful Weekend Hangover at Middlebury

So while many of you have deserted campus for the summer, some of Middlebury’s finest have stayed to soak up those Vermont rays, check out all the best hidden swim spots, and, oh yeah – party (maybe a little too much, but hey, no classes right?!). We’re here to share some tips on navigating your mind-numbing hangover, Midd-style.

1. 11 AM(ish) Proctor. Be there.

What better way to alleviate your morning-after headache-slamin’ sorrows than seeking solace in the masses? Thankfully, there’s a solid chance at least 75% of the dining hall is suffering right along side you. Grab some grub, a good viewing table (beware of proximity to last nights HU, or sit awkwardly close. Whatever works for you), and remember (or try to) all your Saturday night escapades alongside Middlebury’s finest.

2. Shower and change those clothes.

Nothing worse than wearing Grille remains or evidence of last night’s punch. Whether it’s a too-tight dress or a questionably stained T-shirt, a solid wash and switch to Sunday’s best (or just a your favorite sweatsuit) can go a long way to preserve any semblance of personal integrity.

3. Off-campus food stop.

If you’ve gotta save face this morning (or if you just enjoy ridiculously delicious nomz you didn’t have to make), check out our top three off-campus stops.
1. Middbagel: Keep it simple. Grab an everything bagel, toast to taste, some plain cream cheese and you’re set (under $3, can’t complain).
2. Samas: Can’t miss the bacon, egg and cheese wrap. Plus, it’s just a quick walk to the bottom of College St, no transportation necessary, no excuses.
3. Diner. First, RIP Steve’s (not sure if anyone actually ever went here, but it’s gone, FYI). Jury’s out on the replacement, conveniently titled “The Diner” – sign says it’s “a Middlebury classic,” impressive rep for a one-month existence. Let us know how it is.

4. Read delete last night’s texts.

We’ve all been there. Not pretty, but if you delete it, it didn’t happen, right? Please?
Whatever, fuckin’ YOLO. She’s cute.

5. Practice self-restraint against those who didn’t party.

Cool. You ran the TAM and finished your econ problem set. I just vomited into my roommates hamper.

6. WATER, WATER, and oh yeah, more WATER.

Dr. Richard Lavely told us it helps in an exclusive interview. WebMD agrees. Thanks Dick.

7. Get back in bed. Stay there.

Alright fine, we know all you want to do is get back in bed and hole up with endless episodes of Orange is the New Black. Fine. Do it, for a few hours. Then get your ass up and go do something productive with your day – you go to Middlebury for Christ’s sake. (Friends and food at the lib café? It’s basically just as fun as last night.)

And on that note, CHEERS. Don’t get discouraged y’all, fall semester starts in six weeks and the middbeat crew’s got big planz.


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